So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
