the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
