Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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