I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I love you. Go after that dick
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
