He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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