Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize