we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
