the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
