This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
