This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
smell my finger.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
