I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
