What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm too high and old for this...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
