ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I need to sanitize my soul.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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