He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
