Already got asked if we're dating
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
