The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize