I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
