i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Randomize
