my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
