I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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