I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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