i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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