haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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