New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize