I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
