Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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