i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
