Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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