There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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