In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
