ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
