I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
