Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
