I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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