Yo dont text me then not text me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
