My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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