That's intense
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
