i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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