Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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