i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
