His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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