before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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