You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
