using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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