i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
