is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
