is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize