Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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