You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
