where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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