I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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