if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My cat gives me a boner
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
