just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
