she smelled like a LAN party
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
