look no pants
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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