Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
