So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
