My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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